Sex Confession

Straight girl with gay fuck buddy???

offmychest, Female, 22, USA, Seattle

I've been sleeping with this guy for 6 years now. We dated off and on in high school, and have continued sleeping together from time to time, despite the fact he came out a couple of years into our friendship. So, he's gay, yet he continues to sleep with me. I'm a straight single woman in a bizarre relationship with a gay man. These days I'm finishing college, and I just don't understand what I'm doing with him.

Singlehood is a mixed bag. I'm free but lonely. I've dated other guys, but haven't loved anyone else. I've done the one night stand thing, hoping it would solve the sexual frustration, but it doesn't work. When I want a friend to talk to, or a warm body to hold me, he's there for either one. We've kept having sex even when one or both of us is in another relationship. He's dated a few guys (and girls), yet here we are 6 years later...
I'm scared of never finding anybody.
I'm scared of living alone for the rest of my life, with occasional gay friend sleepovers.
Even worse, I'm scared he'll find somebody before I do, and then I'll really know what it's like to be lonely.

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