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sex lies n secrets

monstagirl, Female, 47, USA, yanoway

i have been with my husband since high school..pregnant shortly after we met...i was a messed up girl who wanted to escape being that little girl that everyone took advantage of. My husband tried to do right by me..but i cheated..and everytime i got more bold..first it was kissing..then fondling...i finally took the leap to having sex when i went out of town on a business trip. I really liked this man n he said what i wanted to hear and next thing i know i am running out of the room scared n confused and ashamed...but also i had sex with someone else n i liked it. I think it has to do with my past..the way i am...i like to watch porn..but not with my fact him doing it angers me. I think about things that were done to me when i was younger and i am scared that i wont be able to over come that part of deviance instilled within me.

Thanks all for now
The monsta

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