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SURVIVALsp1, Male, 30, USA, Fullerton

Now, I'm not a religious man. No, not at all. I've hated the feuds between them and what they claim to do, but don't.

But it is at a time like this where I just want someone to listen.

I just don't what to do anymore, in school that is. I have a brilliant mind, with a great potential. I'm an up-and-coming computer programmer. I have this passion for coding, and I just love it.

But what the point of having that fiery passion if I have school troubles? Starting from elementary school all the way to where I am right now, a senior in high school, I can barely get myself to do homework. I can't lift a pencil without losing my attention. I type, but with the internet around, my mind wanders away. And I know that I'm doing all of these wrongs, too. I just can't help it. I've become accustomed to this kind of behavior, but I know it's wrong my mind and my future.

My parents hate me for it. They've lost all hope in me. They've spent so much money just trying to help me. They sent me to academies, hired tutors, gone to seminars, all that just to help. But what have I done? Nothing but sit my big fat butt on this seat of mine.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I've even concocted ways to kill myself. I know how to use pills the most effective way possible, where to cut for a short/long death, maybe a few electric wires here and there, but I don't. I don't kill myself, because I know how precious life is. I know that life is the only true that I have.

I'm starting to break here. I'm a natural bottle, been holding these feelings in for so long that I can't even remember the start. I cry, but there's no one lean on. My parents have drift off into a different river of life. My little brothers dislike me. I have friends at school, but even now I have started to drift away.

I can't type anymore. Its become to hard to type like this. But, thank you for listening. Just thank you for listening to this poor miserable self.

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