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for hating myself, i'm running away.

chrisparks, Male, 31, United Kingdom, Cardiff

i'm running away

I hate how I let my alter ego, my devil if you may control my activities. I hate what i've become. I have no self or physical respect. Tonight I drove to a local woods and let a total stranger suck me off and another stanger watch - the irony is i'm not even gay - how could I let myself become so wreckless and selfish - whats wrong with me. I'm disgusting. This year I promise to myself never to let myself stoop as low as I have tonight. This year I will not let my bad qualities taint my good ones. So to escpae my bad past, I will turn over a new leaf and learn not to hate myself becuase of my actions ... i'm running away to Paris, leaving all this shit that i've brought upon myself so I can learn how to treat my mind and my body with respect - I leave in 6 days.

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Comments By Other Users

MissCharmed, Female, 33, South Africa, Centurion 5-3-2009
Stunning idea - starting over. You're a great guy, I can read it in your words. I believe things will get better. Just don't lose yourself along the way. Maybe there's more to you than you, yourself, realize.

theboss, Male, 76, Zambia, Chipata 13-1-2009
I've never had that kind of experience, but plenty of people I knew did. I wouldn't let it worry you too much.

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