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i gave birth to a stillborn 2 weeks before my due date

ivy2009, Female, 40, USA, rockville

and I didn't want people to think of me as the poor girl that lost her baby so I pretended that my niece (who was 2 months older than my baby) was my daughter. I am still doing it. I can not help it. I just don't want people to feel sorry for me. But as my daughter's 1 year birthday approaches, I feel that it is getting harder and harder to keep this lie going. I's just to co-workers who saw me and knew I was pregnant. Also another co-worker had a baby 2 months after I did and after being pregnant together, going through all that together, I didn't want to be the one without a baby. I don't feel horrible about it, but I think that sometimes I even believe the lie.

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Comments By Other Users

NotHalfOfIt, Male, 33, South Africa, Joburg 10-2-2009
Wow I'm so sorry to hear about you loss. But if I were you I would confide in a friend to help you through things..It'll only get better once you've healed the wound caused by your loss. But after a while it will become obvious that your niece is infact your niece and things will be made harder. Make your peace with things...then reveal the truth. It'll hurt but in the process it will let you release all the real pain you still harbour inside of you and you can feel free again. A lie can bined you so tight that you will start to hate yourself for dragging yourself into it.. Hope you find your peace. May God be your strength.


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