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Confession

Beautiful Note

PorcupineLove, Female, 31, USA, New York

My boyfriend and I were on a break for a while, and then finally I called it off. That night he wrote me a letter telling me exactly how he felt, and finally being clear about the communication. He left it for me in a beautiful notebook he'd had for a year or so, but never used, for fear of ruining it. It was one of the most touching things I ever read. Afterwards, we talked and talked about all the things he said, and we decided that we wanted to learn how to work things out and be together.

Then I went home for the weekend. When I took out the note and read it again, I got really proud and happy. So I showed the notebook to my mother and sister. And at first, I just wanted to tell them about it, and show them the beautiful journal. Then I let them both read it. Neither of them really read the note in depth or anything... but I feel like I somehow betrayed my boyfriend by letting them read something so personal, and the guilt really is digging at me. I can't decide whether I should just tell him about it, or keep it bottled. It somehow feel unhealthy to keep it in, but I also don't want to upset him unneccesarily.. I know he doesn't like my mother that much, especially.. and he might feel hurt or betrayed...


Is this really a big deal? Or if I tell him will it be okay? We've been trying to open the lines of communication, and I can't tell what's communication and what's... well, information that is best kept to myself...

In any case, i feel really shitty that I would show that note to anyone. It felt so personal and wonderful and all mine until I did, and now I just feel embarrassed whenever I see the notebook instead of happy.


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