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Love Confession

I need to tell someone and i dont know what to do!

daydreamer27, Female, 32, United Kingdom, London

Ok, well here it is. I have a boyfriend, we were friends before we started going out and we got along great, and also before we were going out i had feelings for someone who if i told u, u wud probably think it was nothing because they are in a famous band, but the thing it i really loved him, and i've got a friend who can tell you that. I mean i cried over him, crying myself to sleep knowing that i could never ever be with him.

My boyfriend was dating one of my friends before we were going out but he broke up with her to go out with me because he loves me so much and would do anything for me.
Don't get me wrong i love him to, but i dont think as much as he loves me.

When he was going out with my friend i was jealous of her, and whenever he asked me if i was alright id say yes but in my head i was saying no coz i wanna hold your hand and kiss you but i cant coz u with someone, then he dumped her and a few days later we started going out and i thought i was in love with him, but i think it may have been more of the case i want what i can't have.

My feelings for the band member had started to fade and i was falling deeper for my boyfriend, but recently i have been getting the feelings back,and i still love him, i never stopped loving him.

I love my boyfriend but i dont think im in love with him, but i think im in love with the band member.

I think the only way i'm going to know if my feelings for the band member are real are if i meet him, which is impossible because he lives in america and is in a famous band so he is famous, how the hell am i supossed to meet him and find out?

I feel like im at a crossroads one way leading towards my boyfriend the other towards the band member, and the only one who can giv me directions is the band member but i can't find him.

I know it is probably silly of me to think i'm in love with a famous person when i have a boyfriend who loves me to bits, but its how i feel.

I feel like i need to tell someone face to face about this but i can't.
Even my friend who knew how much i loved the band member, she would be the only person i could tell but i can't tell her coz she's friends with my boyfriend and i'm kinda afraid of what she'd say.

When i look into the future i would like to have a family like on "8 Simple Rules" but the face of my husband is'nt my boyfriend, it was the band member but now they're just a blur, i want them to have a face!

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