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itsalwaysgoingabeyou, Female, 33, USA, new york

i live in a house with my mom dad older sister and brother.. i completly hate my mom.. shes never home and she only cares bout her self im jus soo feed up with it.. i dont like my sister because she soo freakin "prefect" it jus pisses me off ive spent soo long tryin to be just like her or as good as her that i dont care anymore.. im scared to death of my brother because hes a big ass guy and when he gets mad i never know what to do.. he use to chance me around the house with like a knife or stick and stuff and be like ima kill you ima kill you but then after i freaked out enough would say im jus kiddin but i to this day think he could/would kill me if he wanted to.. shit i think he wants to.. i dont know whats holding hime back..but yeah i loveee my dad to death even tho hes a Alcoholic.. he has some type of illness that pretty much means hes goinga die soon and i have to take care of him alot becasue he cant do it no more and no one else in the house acts like the give a fuck.. ((thats the 1st time ive ever admitted he was dien))
i try my hardest not to thing about it but its there everytime i wake up and i kno its selfish but im sick of my house.. im sick of my mom my perfect sister and my craz brother i just want out but i cant leave my dad :(

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