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August 29, 2008
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Story

The sum up of my Live

beautifulxDisaster, Female, 22, USA, Thomasville

Well my life has always been a storm, but when the sun does come out, i soak up every bit. Ive lived away from my parents the cause was Drugs, something Im wayy into now. & its like Im doing something thats basically screwed up my whole life. But, it helps so. Im not a happy girl anymore. I remember when no matter what happend 2 hours later i was happy as ever again. Now days im never happy unless im "high" & its just like hard. I feel so screwed up, sometimes i just wanna scream to the top of my lungs in complete silence, sometimes i feel this is more of a "psychological" problem but I dont know. at times I feel so happy i could scream & then the rest is just like life completley sucks. so i mean really i have terrible mood swings. I have THE Worst temper, i get mad so easily like im gonna explode or soemthing. I feel so lowly about myself. and when im feeling down im no I cant do this, and try to be happy and put on this fake that everythings straight and im just like fuck it all! i dont care baout nothing but the truth is, i care deep inside, and i feel it more and more its like i have this heavy heart i carry around and IM TRYING everything to get this off of me. and so far nothings working. Ive been with friends for the past month. spent time with family, which doesnt help situations when your moms on cocaine, and your grandma yells at you for stupid things, and it just makes life harder. idk i know i have it so much better than other people, but i dont "feel" so much better. So at the moment this is where I stand, and some how no matter how hard i try to move its like im stuck for a while until i learn how to move again. as far as relationships go, terrified. thats not even in my vocabulary, i dont want to fall in love again, I dont wanna be hurt again so im just being single hanging out with all my guy friends and girls and having fun just living. Basically. people ask me how im doing. the only thing that comes to mind is..... Living. thats either a semi good thing, or a terrible thing sometimes. Comments would help i'd love feedback.

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Comments By Other Users

Dainagirl24, Female, 25, USA, Waycross 27-2-2007
it's not easy being a teen for sure, but i was raised by my grandparents cause my mom n dad died wen i was 5 yrs old. i have always made the best out of bad situations. i am wat most ppl call a whore or slut but i enjoy life. i believe i was born a sex addict cause i've ben sexual since 8 yrs old wen i played show me urs and i'll show u mine. i lost my virginity 2 days b4 my 14th b-day toa guy i really hated for laffing at my flat chest wen i was 11. i'm 24 now and doing great. i've ben raped twice and as recent as october of last year. i quit dancing at a place in brunswick,ga because of it. i knew better but wen thru with it anyway. my boss asked me to do a favor for one of the clubs clients and for almost 2 days i was raped repeatedly and ended up in the hospital with cracked ribs n a sore head. i'm not sure wat happened only that i was left with god knows who doing god knows wat to my lil 100 pound body. i've ben thru some ruff times but i dont let it get me down. i cant have kids from severe scarring that took place in the first rape so see i have hurt n tell u hang inthere. its a state of mind darlin. daina


poop445, Male, 18, Ireland, oopa 7-4-2006
how the hell old r u?


poop445, Male, 18, Ireland, oopa 7-4-2006
how the hell old r u?


mr_bulow, Male, 31, USA, Somewhere 1-4-2006
I know what it is like to carry a heavy heart. A year and a half I hated myself. But I found the answer. Believe it or not, it has to do with God. I can tell you more if you like. Also, you can check out unshackled.org cause they have a lot of true stories of people who escaped to a guilt-free life. There is yet Hope


little_tree, Female, 20, South Africa, cape town 29-3-2006
hey... i know how you bfeel.. but remember someone close to you can help you, if you dont chance a relationship it is true that you wont get hurt by it but it is also true that you will not be able to experiance the ammazingness of it all... my boyfriend was a heroin addict and he didnt want any relationships he found me and i have helped him get sorted out... we rely on each others support and are genuanly happy... as soon as you want to fill that gap, take a chance... u deserve it!!!! im hoping you feel better


DesireOfGrl, Female, 38, USA, Waycross 10-3-2006
Sorry to hear your story. It must be rough on you and drugs are a deadend and I know you know that already. I'm soo surprised how intelligent you are and its heartbreaking to see how much turmoil you're going through. I've never used hard drugs but many of my friends and family have and I've see alot of it. I know eventually you will not have the same brain function to talk the way you do in the near future,if you don't stop. I have seen many turn to God to help them and they are still clean today. There is a ministry in Jennings,Fla which isn't very far from you that has ppl that can help you if you're tired of the routine of life and all thats dark in it. The number is 386-938-2456 ask for Franklin Walden,ok.




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