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inneedofhelp, Male, 21, Australia, Sydney

I am 19 years of age, and I have a girlfriend who i have been in a fairly serious relationship with forover a year. A few days ago, she went out with a bunch of friends, got really drunk, passed out, and woke up in another guys house. 2 hours ago, she confessed to me that she THINKS she had sex with one of them. She says she doesnt remember it happening (because she was really intoxicated), but she woke up in the morning with her underwear off. Also, she says that there was a point in the middle of the night where she woke up and this guy was next to her and it SEEMED like they were having sex. She says she is unsure whether it really happened or it was a wierd dream. At this point this is all she told me, and i assume that she did cheat on me and have sex with him. I assume this although i trust her words, the fact is that she still woek up with her underwear off and this obviously means that something happened. She confessed to me over the phone 2 hours ago, and to my own surprise, i did not feel any anger. She told me how bad she felt about what MIGHT have happened and that she coudlnt keep it from me any longer. I was shocked, because all i felt was that i was happy that she confessed this to me. For some reason I did not feel that we should end our relationship at all. She tells me she doesnt have feelings for any other guy but me, and i believe this. Alot of you out there may think im an idiot. Alot of you out there would have been cheated on before, and you either forgive your partner, or you dont. I feel stupid because i dont feel like this is the way i would react to something like this. I have never been cheated on before, but it has been an unwritten rule to me that if my girlfriend ever cheats on me it would be over for us. For some reason, i was calm, and i suggested that we try to put this behind us. i guess my main reason for this is, although im pretty certain that she DID have sex with this guy, i dont know for sure. This is only because she herself says she doesnt know for sure. also, i know the guy who she was with and i know him to be a good person, as i believe i am, and i would never sleep with someone else's girlfriend. Of course it is possible that he was also drunk as hell and wasnt completely in control of himself. I dont want to go into great detail about what she told me, but the bottom line is that there is a small part of me that believes she didnt cheat on me (or perhaps i jsut really dont want to believe it), but overall im pretty sure that it did happen. the funny thing is, after she confessed this to me, she told me that she feels so bad that she doesnt know if she can still be with me. after i suggested that we put this event behind us, she didnt mention us breaking up again.

im really confused and after talking and questioning her im am still jsut as confused. is it possible that she is the one who actually wants to break up with me? and that this might be a good/easy reason for her to do it? also, girls who are reading this, is it really possible to not realise that you had sex when woke up a few horus after you think it happened? isnt there some sort of physical indicator? i am a pretty big drinker, and i rarely pass out from alcohol, and i have had runken sex before. but i ALWAYS remember the next morning. i am saying this becase when my girlfriend and i dont have sex in a while, and we do finally, she claims that she has a wierd feeling down there that she has either been penetrated or it hurts, etc. she told me that there was no such feeling when she got out of bed very early the next morning. now, this only makes me think that she didnt have sex (something would have happened because she didint have her underwear on, but maybe not sex), or maybe this guy jsut has a really small dick.

i really surprised myself tonight by still wanting to be with her. i care about her alot and i know she cares about me too. i know this confession looks like im jsut looking for proof that she didnt cheat on me, but im jsut stating the facts. as i said i truly believe that it DID happen, and whether she was drunk or not she still did cheat on me. do you think i made the right decision? as i said i know that i still want to be with her, i jsut feel stupid forgiving her so easily, but what else could i have done? i dont feel ready to discuss this with any of my friends, and for now im jsut looking for some anonymous advice... please..

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EXTREME, Male, 37, Canada, TORONTO

23-2-2008

my frnd just as Daina says she must have had an orgy of sorts with those guys, this is not her first and will surely not be her last either. She has found her calling !! I suggest you shud not only forgive her, but join her in her future escapades you will have a mind blowing time, like they say if you can't beat them than join them !!

PhilUK50, Male, 51, United Kingdom, Essex

16-11-2007

I feel sorry for you, but her telling you what may or may not of happened, show's she's not wanting to hide things from you. It sounds that she may of been a victim of a ''sex date drug''...slipped into her drink, without her knowing, that would account for her not remembering anything.

Dainagirl24, Female, 25, USA, Waycross

24-3-2007

i think she fucked those guys brains out. i love the way girls blame the booze n say i dont remember wat i did at all, but most times they r lying out their asses to make u guys feel better. i bet she remembers, i bet she had more than one guy,probably at the same times, i bet she had a few orgasms n loved every minute of it. i bet she fantasizes of just this opportunity to blame the booze so she can fulfill her desires n fantasies. girls r very creative n convincing n i bet she said it didnt mean anything to her either,but in her mind it does. u fell for the oldest trick in the book.

Dainagirl24, Female, 25, USA, Waycross

7-3-2007

Don't sweat it. Girls will be girls, so she got her ass popped by a few guys. She must have been enjoying herself to wake up to no underwear on,dont u think. It's not a big deal tho, so just let her have her fun. Maybe she needed a good fucking n was missing the great orgies she used to have. Go easy on her it was just great sex probably. daina

amam25, Female, 24, Ireland, Belfast

17-1-2007

Dont let your pride and 'what you should do' influence your decision. People do some very stupid things when they are drunk thats the dangers of the demon drink im afraid. Sounds to me like she didnt go the full way but hey you know her best. People make mistakes it will get easier. Dont feel stupid forgiveness is a part of loving somebody.

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