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i have feelings for my boyfriends friend!

feelsoashamed, Female, 34, United Kingdom, hampshire

I am making this confession because i am hopig that once i have done this it will be off my chest and i will be able to move o and forget about it. I have been with my partner for around 3 years now, we had a baby together about 3 months ago and i love hi very much, he's caring and makes me feel safe. The thing is i split up with my ex about 3 and a half years ago and i jumped into this relationship with my boyfriend pretty quickly. We have a lovely home together which we have made our own and i have a pretty wonderful life but there is soething that has been niggling me for quite some time now. I have felings for one of his close friends and its killing me to think about his. I feel like i am cheating even though i am not. All i can think about is this other bloke, every time i see him i get butterflies and i cant take my eyes of him, i think he's gorgeous. We go out almost every weekend withhim and their mates and i feel sick knowing that all i can think of is him, even when my partner is there. I feelso ashamd ofmyself dont know what to do. feel ike im going to lose my mind

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Comments By Other Users

SD1020, Female, 47, USA, Newark 22-1-2009
I agree with Dainagirl24. Just let yourself enjoy the feeling and try out with the other guy. u may like it and it's not wrong to explore and have fun.

Dainagirl24, Female, 37, USA, Waycross 7-5-2007
look u have these desires and they r driving u nuts and they dont just go away. u know i'm telling u the truth no matter wat this other advisor tells u. i bet ur crotch throbbs soo hard around this guy ur b/f or husband can hear it. u know u need to explore this soo have fun with it. dont worry bout it just dont get a conscience and start blabbing u had an affair with this guy,just have the best of both world's here. u can have ur b/f and lover to.

ThatGuy, Male, 34, USA, Des Moines, IA 4-5-2007
Awful, awful, awful advice. Do not listen to the above poster for the love of god. If there is one thing you will regret, it is cheating on the father of your child and disrupting the (near) harmony of your household. What you need to do is look at the situation more objectively. Think back to just before these unfaithful thoughts began. Is it when this other man first came into your life, or much after? Was it in that later stages of pregnancy by chance? If so, these may just be latent feelings that developed when your hormones (and therefore raw sexual desires) were raging, and willl most likely fade over time. Did the time when these feelings developed coincide with a slowing in the sexual relationship between you and your boyfriend? Based on the extra details you added in your post, it seems to me the issue really is that you are feeling much less sexually attracted to him than you once were, and now feel as if you may have rushed into starting a life with a man you may not want to spend the rest of your life with, at least not if monogamy is required. If this is the case, in any form, you MUST take action. Feelings such as these do not go away, they only lead to more negative and dangerous thoughts. You need to rekindle your sex life with your boyfriend, and learn to appreciate each other like you did three years ago. In the time with him, have you two ever discussed something wild you would like to try? Try surprising him in the shower, or waking him up a little early on a day off from work before the baby gets up for some morning nookie. Maybe look into special lubricants, flavored condoms, or whatever suits your comfort levels. Surprise and excite him on a regular basis, and I am sure that before long you will have him going nuts for you and putting in extra effort to please you as well as he possibly can. I wish you luck in your relationship, you may email me at for any reason at all.

Dainagirl24, Female, 37, USA, Waycross 3-4-2007
i'd find a way to ease my desire for him if i were u, but i'm not u soo i'd fuck his brains before i explode. if ur having problems with ur desires just give in to them darlin. if u dont you will regret it later.

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