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I feel so desperate for peace

willipup, Female, 41, Other Europe countries, Larnaca

I've never been to a church confession so feel like I have a lot of pent up feelings I can't deal with anymore. I feel desperate for an end to the situation I am living in and have been living in for so many years. I live with my husband and little boy in a house I share with my sister and mother. It used to be our family home but then my parents divorced and I was given half with my sister.
When my father was living with us he used to beat me (I even lost a child before my son was born) and he was terrible to my mother and cheated on her many times. She has MS and couldn't ever fight back to him. The only reason my husband stayed there for so long was because we were planning to build on top of my parents house - cheaper than buying something new and we had inherited money from the family that my dad had. The last straw was one time when he beat me badly and my husband and sister got involved too against him (he beat my sister that day too). Mum got a restraining order on him and they divorced. She then gave the house to me and my sister (my father took over 40,000 pounds with him that was supposed to be for me and my sister to build/buy our own places - deposit). We all lived together for 2 years, saying we'd sell the house and get our own places with my mother living with either one of us (wherever she preferred, but not alone). In that time I was left to deal with everything in the house. I never expected any help from my mum because she's not in a position to help, but I did expect help from my sister. She never once cleaned, did laundry, paid bills, etc. She rarely cooked/s and has never pulled her weight in the house. Since having my son I now work full time and come home to have to clean and cook, as well as take care of my son and mother in the evenings (he's just turned one). I had a big argument with my sister about this and she told me straight out if I don't do it no one will and that she'll only do what she wants to do when she wants to do it. My mum took her side and said I have to do it all on my own too.
Since this, my husband and I have decided we have to leave now. I speak with my mum and sister but feel so let down by them and forget what they said. I've lost so much weight - despite eating all the 'wrong' foods and although everyone keeps nagging me about my weight. no one wants to accept why I've lost weight - basically I only have a break when I'm at work. My sister told me if we leave the house and use my half as collateral to buy ouw own place she will never speak to me again (at this point I don't feel like I'll loose anything). Plus since their divorce our neighbours did a hate campaign about us (they took my fathers side) and made life very unbearable for me (they blamed me for their divorce because I called the police on him after he'd beaten me, plus I called the police on them too because of the things they did to us - put their dogs to mess in our garden and on our veranda, shouted abuse at us, threw lemons at our front door, etc). We had always agreed to sell up and have a fresh start. Now my mum and sister say they don't want to leave and I'm selfish for wanting to leave. My mum even said I'm abandoning her. This is all causing problems with my husband and I am never relaxed now and physically chake everytime I am on my way home to that house. I don't know what to do. If it wasn't for my son I wouldn't want to be here anymore.

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