Confession

the truth is out now...

mividabella, Female, 21, USA, mesquite

so i told my roommate how i felt about him...well kinda...if anybody reading this keeps up with grey's anatomy then you will understand the metaphor i used...so last night when he got home from work(he works really wier, late hours so he doesnt usually get home until like 430ish)my light was still on because well i have insomnia and i dont sleep very well...and he came into my room to see what i was doing...we talked for a second and then he left so i just figured he was going to bed. He cae back like 10 minutes later and sat down on the flloor to eat, and then he got back up to leave so again i fgured that he was going to bed... however he cae BACK in my room and layed down with me to watch the movie i was watching...so when he left for the third time i was sure he was going to bed...NOPE! he came back with pillow and layed down again...so we finished the movie almost and he was like "im getting tired" and when he says this that usually means hes going to his room to go to sleep...but not this time he said "im gonna turn this off and that too" so he reached up turned out the light and turned off the movie...so we were laying there and i said "i have a secret but i dont want it to be awkward after i say it" and he said "it won't be awkward whatever it is i promise" so i said "I'm Izzy...(Grey's Anatomy reference)...thats how i feel" but he didnt say anything back...im not sure if that is a good or bad thing though because he asked me if i wanted a response and i told him no..i just automatically assumed that whatever the response would be its gonna be something negative for me and i just didnt want to hear it at the time you know? i mean who would? so anyways-after that was said we kind of talked off and on as we were dozin off and the whole night he stayed in my bed and we cuddled all night...no like in a sexual way-but it was sweet. randomly at like 730ish i got up to go to the bathroom he had his back to me and when i got back he turned around and said "where did you go?" and like rolled over and put his arm around me and pulled me in super close to him...so i dont know what to say to that or how im supposed to respond because i really dont think he feels the same way about me..ive heard the way he talks about my other roommate and there is no way to be honest...but at least he knows and thats all i really wanted to happen was for him to know...so ya i will hope for the best but i will probably get the worst because thats usually what happens...not to sound all melodramatic and pity party-ish but its the truth...k i will hopefully get some sleep before too long...insomnia sucks hardcore!!!! :-)

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