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Love Confession

Married but in love with someone else

Background, Male, 53, USA, Seattle

I have been having an affair with a co-worker for the past two years. I am married with two daughters (ages 11 and 8). I have fallen in love with the woman with whom I've been having the affair. I think she could be the love of my life, and she feels the same way about me (by the way, she's married too). It seems like we were meant to be. However, I am afraid of leaving my family and the effect that could have on my daughters. I feel like I'm living in limbo and pretending to be in love with my wife while I'm really in love with another. I love my daughters with all of my heart and don't want to let them down. I know I created this situatiton and expect no sympathy. I need to do something because I can't live like this forever.

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Comments By Other Users

R3P3N37R473R, Female, 30, USA, West Chester 24-2-2009
Be happy. You are the most important person in your life. What point is there in living if youre not happy?

servechilled, Female, 33, Canada, edmonton 4-3-2008
allright well.. for one its a shame you vowed to be honest and faithful to your wife BUT LEAVE.. if you are so in love with somone else by staying you are livin a lie.. tell your wife.. so you mess up your family and all that but at least your wife and children can know that there not living a lie ither it is unfair to be doing this to yourself and to your family. you are keeping your wife ad children prisioner to your secrets. give them a chance to be happy as well dont stay with your wife beaucs eits the "right" thing to do.. it might hurt her at fist but in the long run she deserves better then that. and you can live with a clear head .. ad its better then gettin caught . cause you might have gone this far but its only a matter of time.. talk the the mistress and tell your wife the truth.. good luck

wildorca, Male, 36, USA, Smallville 3-3-2008
Dude, I feel your pain. I'm in a similar situation. You have to be there to get it. If I understand, you went in for the sex, but the love blindsighted you. Now every choice you have is a bad one. You aren't an ass. You just let your heart out of it's cage and now it is going to casue you and your most loved ones a lot of pain. I wish you the peace of mind to sort this out and find a course of action you won't regret.

imaperson, Female, 34, USA, Notsayin 21-2-2008
dude, the day you said "i do," that was it. you probably think you love this other girl because it's "new" and "exciting." not to mention the fact that you are doing something sneaky, which probably makes it FEEL more exciting (doesn't mean it is). like the other person said, you probably felt that way with your current wife when you first met her. also, put yourself in your daughter's shoes... if you were them, how would you feel having a dad who left them and their mommy to be with another woman? let me give you some advice- give her up, move away, and lose contact with her. if you don't see her at work EVERY DAY, it will be much easier not to think about her and be distracted from your otherwise wonderful family and happy life.

Love2Lick, Male, 49, USA, Painesville 12-2-2008
Sorry dude, but the moment you had kids you gave up your opetions. Your kids welfare comes before your needs and desires, period. Sorry, it sucks, but being IN LOVE isn't real. It's not about the person you are IN LOVE with but about you and your fantasies. End the relationship, do whatevr you have to to save you're marriage or make an understanding with this woman that it remains an extra-marital affair for both of you, nothing more. Your kids are at an age where you can really fuck them up for life.

Macbeth2008, Male, 50, United Kingdom, Durham 10-2-2008
I will not give you any sympathy, not because I am judging you, but because I don't think you need any. In a nutshell you and your new 'love of your life', are just grasping on to the excitment of new love, with added fun of it being illict. You are both seeking the excitment and fun that happend when you got together with your spouses, but with kids, bills, and etc, that excitment has gone. But I could be completely wrong, you and your new love may be right for each other. Or you could try putting in the effort that takes to meet your new love, and trying to pleae her, with your wife. Surprise her with little presents, tell her you love her..get the grandparents to take the kids out for the day, and have some alone time with your wife. If that doesn't work, there is always divorce and weekend father. But either way you have to follow your heart whatever the outcome, good luck mate.

ninjasean, Male, 35, USA, San Diego 10-2-2008
Obvious jack-hole...Either you do the selfish thing for yourself and go with your Mistress or you do the honorable and noble thing for your FAMILY. So are you selfish or generous? Have fun on that soul search ass, if you can find it.

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