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I want a child...he doesnt know.

DME, Female, 32, USA, portland

I'm 19..newly married...and I want a child. He says he wants to wait a few years..I'm not willing to. Three months ago I started to pretend to take my birth control. taking it in the middle of the night supposedly because of the side effects that bugged me so much..oh but thats all a lie. I'm not taking it.

I know if he ever found out he'd leave me..because I lie this big cant be forgiven..but then I feel he owes it to me(a child) for what he did to me last summer..something i still have yet to fully forgive.

I feel like a horrible person for lying to him like this but guilt wont stop.

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