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Confession

Retailiation for Smothering Me!

pokeymokey, Female, 53, USA, chicago

In 3 weeks I leave to go have an affair with a former lover. Over the last few months I have felt driven to do this. I never get a moment alone without some commentary about how you feel isolated. In two years I have only been "permitted" to attend 3 or 4 events without you, including hair appointments. This has been stressful. I have worn a game face and toiled on. Patiently waiting for you to concede that my need to do things on my own is not a threat to you. Waiting while you pouted about me not fixing you your favorite meal when you were sick. Waiting while you got upset because you don't feel powerful enough at work. Waiting for you to not be so passive aggressive and just say that you are scared that I will leave you. It hasn't happened.

Now it is a threat.

I am going to Atlanta to have an affair with HIM. He was the one that got away. I would have married him if I had the chance. My time with him has past but being with him in the upcoming weeks will allow me to reflect upon a time when I still had my own thoughts and own ideas (and I was 40lbs lighter).

I do love you and I secretly hope that when I come home that we can work on the real issues. But I feel that I have to be selfish and do this for my own sanity.




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